Tiana’s Story
It has been more than two years since the beginning of this whole journey, and when I'm asked about my story the feelings that first roll through the body are that of survival from severe trauma – trauma from complete disregard, neglect, exclusion, lack of concern for, lack of answers and understanding, and gas-lighting by the medical industry.
My baby was birthed at home by two of the best midwives in my area. When it became clear about a day into our postpartum experience that my baby was hungry, the fire alarms went off and all of a sudden it was cause of concern. It was interpreted that there was something wrong with me (and internalized as such). From one expert to the next, to the next, to the next, I was handed off with the same catch-all phrase responses for low milk supply: "It's a myth...it's incredibly rare...your breasts look fine...you're just stressed...did you try oatmeal? spinach? water?...well, if the domperidone isn't working then I don't know what to tell you...some women just don't make enough milk." And don't forget the formula bashing that comes even more feelings of shame and insufficiency.
Well, let me tell you...there is nothing fiercer than the hunger and thirst of a mother to feed her baby when she is unable to. The emotional agony I went through on the quest to uncover the root cause of my breastfeeding issues is unlike anything I've ever experienced. It took a huge toll on my mental health, the mental health of my spouse, and robbed me of those precious early newborn months.
Over the past two years I have learned on my own an incredible amount of pre-existing scientific evidence that “connects the drops” of low milk supply root causes and negate every single aforementioned excuse I was given. Now, my midwives and other parents referred mamas struggling with low milk supply to me so that I can share this information. But the fact that low milk supply parents have become the experts on seeking, consolidating and corroborating our own experiences with PRE-EXISTING scientific research, and that we are tasked with identifying further necessary specific research, is repugnant, a public health crisis, and as with many things in the medical industry, a medical system failure to provide what people really need. This is coming from a mother who did not spend her life dreaming about a beautiful breastfeeding relationship – just someone who, like all mothers, especially vulnerable first time mothers, wanted to do her best and give her baby what is recommended by ALL MAJOR HEALTH ORGANIZATIONS, even though they have failed to provide the necessary information and resources to do.
“In total I saw 12 medical professionals. None of them would acquiesce to my requests for a deeper dive into addressing root causes. And that is not even mentioning the overwhelming lack of breastfeeding education and awareness around low milk supply.”
— Tiana Sawyer
How old was your baby when you realized you had low milk supply? What concerns led you to learn this?
Less than 24 hours old.
What were some of your goals when you first started your breastfeeding journey? How did these goals shift throughout the time you were lactating?
My initial goal was to breastfeed my baby for a year. This was quickly adjusted to a month-by-month (and truthfully, pump to pump) basis.
What advice were you given, if any, to increase your supply? By whom?
Triple feed. Pump more, without being shown how to properly pump. Take fenugreek, and in fact take every herbal supplement under the sun. Eat more spinach. Drink more water. Try domperidone. Power pump. Give up. All of this advice came from medical professionals and IBCLCs.
Did you feel supported by your medical providers? Why or why not?
Absolutely not. In total I saw 12 medical professionals, including midwives (2), IBCLCs (4, including one of whom was from Stanford), OB/GYNs (2), a pediatrician/lactation expert, PCPs (2), and an acupuncturist specializing in female reproductive issues. None of them could provide me with even a fraction of the information I ultimately obtained from the IGT and Low Milk Supply Support Group or would even acknowledge/acquiesce to my requests for a deeper dive into addressing root causes. And that is not even mentioning the overwhelming lack of breastfeeding education and awareness around low milk supply.
What is one thing that you wish someone would have told you when you began your low milk supply journey?
Breastfeeding takes dedication, practice, a lot of tips and tricks, and it looks different for every mother. It’s not uncommon that you may not be able to provide all of your baby's nutritional needs. If that happens, here is what you can do...
Is there any support from people other than medical providers (e.g. lactation consultants, family, friends, peers) that you wish you had gotten during your low supply journey?
Honestly, just more reassurance that I'm not alone, that mothers struggle with breastfeeding all the time, I'm not a failure, this is just what it looks like for me and many other mothers out there. Besides my family and friends, the IGT and Low Milk Supply Support as well as the Low Milk Supply Foundation saved me. I felt more seen, heard, and supported than any medical professional I saw. I am lucky for that.
Did you feel prepared for the possibility of low milk supply? Why or why not?
Again, absolutely not. There was zero talk or discussion about the possibility of low milk supply. First time mothers are setup to expect rainbows and unicorns postpartum. The realities of postpartumhood just aren't talked about.
If you have had more than one low supply journey, how did you approach it/them?
As I gear up for baby number 2, I feel incredibly prepared and beyond grateful for the help of this foundation. I KNOW this time around will be different. I have all the tools and information I need to get us off to the best start. I have reasonable expectations for myself. I feel empowered and confident in my own ability to breastfeed my child no matter what that will end up looking like. I am the expert on myself and my own best advocate. And even if those old emotions of guilt, shame and insufficiency come up, I have the community support I need to hold me through them.
What is one thing that you would like all medical and lactation professionals to know about chronic low milk supply?
Whether treatable or not, there is a root cause (or causes) to every mother's low milk supply and they deserve to be investigated. This is a public health crisis.
In one sentence, why does low milk supply matter to you?
There is nothing more important than a mother's ability to feed her child.
What is one thing about your low milk supply experience that makes you proud?
My ability to help and advocate for other mamas who are going and will go through this experience. It is the most rewarding and rectifying outcome from this whole experience.